Four real and one fake
I’ve been doing some stuff lately. For example, here are five things. Four of them are true. One of them is false. See if you can find the false one!
1. I drove to downtown LA after work and paid $16 for a martini at a fancy hotel bar. It had two olives in it and I drank it very slowly while snacking on mixed nuts. Then I walked through the rain to the central library and wandered through an exhibit of movie posters from the 1930s. After that I went to a talk being given by an author who wrote a book about how people make decisions. He told engrossing tales of studies done on when we use emotional thinking versus rational thinking and which one is more effective in various situations. Although I was fully engaged in his talk, I was also fantasizing about being his wife and how great the pillow talk would be. He was young and handsome and wore a dapper blue sweater with jeans and a stylish pair of sneakers. It was pretty much like Jude Law had donned a pair of glasses and transformed himself into a neuroscientist. It’s enough to make a girl faint with desire. But I didn’t.
2. I went to church for the first time in 10 years. It was a cozy place in the suburbs. They had up banners opposing prop 8, and there were tables set up where people sold eco-friendly products and had sign-up sheets for Habitat for Humanity and other service organizations. During services, a male-female duo played beautiful folk songs that made me think of childhood trips to the mountains and my aunt’s hippie boyfriend. The topics for the day were Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin, in honor of their birthdays and contributions to humanity. There wasn’t a bible in sight. We sang hymns. We listened to the minister read a story to a group of children. The story was about a little princess who dreamed of being a knight, and how she overcame gender discrimination and accomplished her dream—and befriended a dragon along the way. We listened to a gay couple tell the congregation how the church had united them in marriage and supported them as a family. Their small son and daughter stood proudly beside them. We drank coffee and mingled outside after church. I will probably go back.
3. I walked two miles to a party where my friend was DJing. Met up with several friends who didn’t recognize me with brown hair. I ate Rice Krispie squares and did six Jello shots. I got in a fight with a short man named Buddy. We danced to 80s music in front of a fireplace that made us sweat. There was a guy in the corner who was the lead singer for some famous band. Someone brought Mojos from Shakeys. I guzzled water from the tap and walked the two miles home, just before it started raining. I listened to the rain as I drifted off to sleep.
4. I met up with a friend at a really terrible Mexican restaurant where I sent back the guacamole because it tasted “artificial and limey.” I recounted my recent failed relationship. He recounted his. I drank a margarita and ate a quesadilla. We walked across the street to the theatre and watched a play about two couples who get themselves into this downward spiral that involves slaughtering a lamb, having an affair, busting frantic retro dance moves, male-on-male rape, strangulation, bludgeoning, attempts to preserve the semen of a corpse, accidental suicide and homemade brownies.
5. This morning my head fell off and I ate it.
1. I drove to downtown LA after work and paid $16 for a martini at a fancy hotel bar. It had two olives in it and I drank it very slowly while snacking on mixed nuts. Then I walked through the rain to the central library and wandered through an exhibit of movie posters from the 1930s. After that I went to a talk being given by an author who wrote a book about how people make decisions. He told engrossing tales of studies done on when we use emotional thinking versus rational thinking and which one is more effective in various situations. Although I was fully engaged in his talk, I was also fantasizing about being his wife and how great the pillow talk would be. He was young and handsome and wore a dapper blue sweater with jeans and a stylish pair of sneakers. It was pretty much like Jude Law had donned a pair of glasses and transformed himself into a neuroscientist. It’s enough to make a girl faint with desire. But I didn’t.
2. I went to church for the first time in 10 years. It was a cozy place in the suburbs. They had up banners opposing prop 8, and there were tables set up where people sold eco-friendly products and had sign-up sheets for Habitat for Humanity and other service organizations. During services, a male-female duo played beautiful folk songs that made me think of childhood trips to the mountains and my aunt’s hippie boyfriend. The topics for the day were Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin, in honor of their birthdays and contributions to humanity. There wasn’t a bible in sight. We sang hymns. We listened to the minister read a story to a group of children. The story was about a little princess who dreamed of being a knight, and how she overcame gender discrimination and accomplished her dream—and befriended a dragon along the way. We listened to a gay couple tell the congregation how the church had united them in marriage and supported them as a family. Their small son and daughter stood proudly beside them. We drank coffee and mingled outside after church. I will probably go back.
3. I walked two miles to a party where my friend was DJing. Met up with several friends who didn’t recognize me with brown hair. I ate Rice Krispie squares and did six Jello shots. I got in a fight with a short man named Buddy. We danced to 80s music in front of a fireplace that made us sweat. There was a guy in the corner who was the lead singer for some famous band. Someone brought Mojos from Shakeys. I guzzled water from the tap and walked the two miles home, just before it started raining. I listened to the rain as I drifted off to sleep.
4. I met up with a friend at a really terrible Mexican restaurant where I sent back the guacamole because it tasted “artificial and limey.” I recounted my recent failed relationship. He recounted his. I drank a margarita and ate a quesadilla. We walked across the street to the theatre and watched a play about two couples who get themselves into this downward spiral that involves slaughtering a lamb, having an affair, busting frantic retro dance moves, male-on-male rape, strangulation, bludgeoning, attempts to preserve the semen of a corpse, accidental suicide and homemade brownies.
5. This morning my head fell off and I ate it.
I'm going to guess number #3 -- if you really drank water from the tap... your head would fall off! If this was a precursor to number 5, then, my apologies. Also, I now have no idea as suddenly, all are now possible.
Reply to this